Knitting Content Ahead

I have some actual knitting content ahead. First, I received a wonderful package from Veronica. This was received over a month ago and I am just now blogging about it - I am so bad!



The package included a cute little project bag, a kit to make an owl (which will belong to the little man) and a sample of Soak. Thanks for the great treats Veronica!

I have been knitting up dishcloths like there is no tomorrow. When we moved I threw out a lot of tattered and beaten up cloths so I need to replace them. You can find details at the FO blog and on Ravelry. I started a baby sweater before the munchkin was born but now I think the yarn is to girly for my little guy. I have some pretty turquoise Microspun in my stash so I will start another sweater for him soon. Also, Socktoberfest starts on Wednesday and I want to start another pair for that. I have lofty goals but we will see how much gets accomplished. Until next time ....

Motherhood

I have been writing this post in my head for 3 weeks now and I finally want to get it out into the world. Motherhood has been the hardest but best experience of my life. The first 10 days were very difficult. When we were in the hospital it did not seem real. There were nurses coming in all the time, taking him to the nursery for tests, and they bathed him and changed many of his diapers. On the second night when he cried off and on from 9pm to 3am they took him to the nursery so we could sleep. It seemed like he was my baby but someone else's responsibility. That all changed when we came home. While I never have denied him anything it is hard to be on the clock 24/7. It became even more difficult when Jerry had to return to work 2 days later. There is a big deal going down and with this economy we could not afford for him to say no and risk his job. However, I felt so completely helpless. I have dealt with babies but never like this. I questioned every move I made - especially the feeding issues. Breastfeeding did not work out for us, Ieven tried pumping but was only getting 2 oz for 10 pumps (he eats 2-4 oz every 2-3 hours). All the "breastfeeding nazis" tried to make me feel like a bad mother because I was formula feeding him and I bought into it even though my gut told me we were doing the best thing. I also felt financial guilt towards the hubby because breast milk is free and formula is extremely expensive. My hormones were raging out of control and I felt so alone and isolated. I also had, and still have, major grief feelings about my mom. It was so difficult to be a new mother who is motherless. I was so jealous of all the other new moms who would have their moms over to help them or just listen to them. I cried everyday because I had no one I felt I could rely on for moral support other than Jerry. While my husband is wonderful I wanted another woman who had been through this to listen to me.

Now Clark is 3 weeks old and I am feeling a lot better. I still miss my mom but I am more confidant as a mother. He amazes me everyday. He looks for me when he hears my voice which is such a wonderful feeling. He laughs and smiles and it melts my heart. I know people say at this age it's just gas but he smiles when I tell him he is my handsome boy or that daddy's home so that gas stuff is complete BS. I never imagined loving someone so completely and all the cliches are true. I would do anything for him and want to give him the world. I know it is going to be difficult and that there will be days when he gets older that I will want to strangle him but this is the best ride I have ever been on. Until next time ....

Baby Pictures

Sorry that it took so long to get these up. This has been an interesting week. I am in the process of writing a longer entry about these days but that may take a while for me to finish with a hungry baby waking up every 1-2 hours. However, here is Clark's blog debut!


His first picture. Don't mind the scary looking mommy - it was a long 16 hours.


In his bassinet in our hospital room waiting to leave the hospital.


Getting ready to finally leave the hospital at 3 days old. Again, please ignore the scary looking mommy and focus on my two handsome guys.


Finally, here he is yesterday at one week old. Yes I am a dork and kept telling him that it was his birthday and at one point I actually sang Happy Birthday to him. Sleep deprivation does strange things to the mind. Until next time ....

Our bundle of joy

Announcing our beautiful baby boy

Clark Miles
Born September 5, 2008 @ 9:33pm
8 lbs 3 oz
20-1/4" long

Pictures to follow once we leave the hospital tomorrow.