Think Write Thursday: The Hello August Edition

 Hello there August! I cannot believe that you are here already. This year is just flying by faster and faster each day.

You always are a bit bittersweet to me. When you arrive it means that summer is slowly coming to an end. When I was younger school always started at the end of August but for little man that is no longer the case. However, now the Back to School ads are on TV and the displays are out in the stores to remind us that it will be here before we know it.

August also means vacation to me. When I was growing up it was always in August that we would travel up north to my grandparents house. I am hoping that this year we will be able to go out of town for a few days at the end of the month. Little man really wants to go stay in a hotel again.

Usually your days are extremely hot. We have been pretty lucky this summer and our temperatures have been pretty pleasant. I hope that keeps up for the rest of the month.

I hope that you will be the best month of the year yet.

Think Write Thursday: The When I Grow Up Edition

The topic for this week's post is to write about what you thought you were going to be when you grew up and how that compares to what you actually are.

When I was very little I had many thoughts of what I wanted to be. A teacher, a gymnast, a horse jockey,  a singer, and an actress to name a few.

Soon my dreams of being a gymnast or a jockey were dashed because I was way too tall. Plus I cannot even do a cartwheel.

For awhile in high school I had dreams of being a journalist. I read a Danielle Steele novel about a female journalist during the Vietnam War and was mesmerized.

I am not quite sure when the journalist dream died but my main ambition in high school and college was to be a lawyer. I was a Political Science/Pre-Law major in college. I wanted to be a prosecutor or work for the Southern Poverty Law Center. I read so many John Grisham novels it was not funny. I also had political aspirations and sometimes imagined being President one day.

In college I worked in state politics and soon learned it was not for me. I am not good at the BS which means I would be a horrible politician. I am more into political theory - for example this would be the study of why so many white lower and middle class voters were drawn to Donald Trump in the last election. However, to work in that field you have to have a PhD - which I have no desire to pursue - and live in Washington DC or New York which again I have no desire to do.

Somewhere along there the idea of law school also lost its luster. Again, there is a lot of BS that occurs in the legal field and I have no desire to deal with it.

So as far as my career goes I am doing nothing anywhere close to what I thought I would do when I was younger. I am really fine with that. While I do not love what I do for me it is only a way to pay my bills and it is not my life.

My life is my husband and son. When I was younger I always knew I wanted to be a wife and a mother. I played a lot with baby dolls and loved being around my baby cousins. In that aspect I am doing exactly what I wanted and could not be happier.

Think Write Thursday: The Summer Bucket List Edition

The topic for this week is to write your summer bucket list. I have done this the last few years and have not done very well with completing things. I hope this year changes that.

1) Have a picnic
2) Make strawberry shortcake
3) Go to Movies in the Moonlight
4) Go to Michigan Fiber Fest in August
5) Go to a concert in the park
6) Participate in the library's summer reading program
7) Have ice cream for dinner one night

I think that should be enough.

Think Write Thursday: The June Edition

Hello June,

I am sure you are hearing this a lot but I cannot believe that you are upon us already. Time seems to be flying by faster and faster everyday.

You have always been my favorite month of the year. Of course you are the month of my birth so that makes sense. But you also bring the start if warm weather and of course the end of the school year which I am beginning to enjoy again as a mother.

You will also mark the end for many - including my youngest niece - as many high schools and college graduations will take place. I know they are looking forward to your arrival so they can move onto the next stages of their lives.

I hope to enjoy the heck out of you this month although you will be extremely busy with 3 birthdays, a graduation, Fathers Day and 3 more soccer Saturdays.

Kristyn

Think Write Thursday: The Advice Edition

The topic this week is advice you would give to yourself at 5, 16 ,21 and your current age.

To my 5 year old self:

 

Try not to worry so much. Enjoy your childhood more. Play more. Try to make more friends. 

To my 16 year old self:

You are good enough. You are definitely not fat. You are deserving of good things. What others think about you does not matter.

To my 21 year old self:

Go to class. Realize that these guys you are wasting time with are not worth the tears. Do not be afraid. Do a study abroad like you want to.

To my 40 year old self:

Remember you are worthy. Remember you are blessed. Remember to enjoy each day to the best of your ability. Spend as much time as you can with your husband and son.

Think Write Thursday: The Star Wars Edition

 For those of you who do not know today – May the Fourth – is a big deal for Star Wars fans. The topic this week for Think Write Thursday is to write a post about Star Wars.

I am a definite fan. Now I am not a devotee but I do love the movies. The original 1977 version is one of the first movies I remember seeing. At the time I did not really know how to read so I remember my mom reading the scrolling text at the start of the movie to me. 

I also remember my sister covering my eyes at the scene in The Empire Strikes Back when Han cuts open the tauntaun and places Luke inside. I wanted my own ewok so bad and thought they were so cuddly. I remember having R2D2 and C3PO underwear. Darth Vader scared me to death. 

I find it somewhat funny that I have such an affinity for these movies. I really do not like any other shows or movies of the sci-fi genre. I remember crying when my brother made me watch Battlestar Galactica or Star Trek back in the day (we only had one TV – gasp!). Maybe it is because I was so young when I saw them that it made an impression on me. I remember wanting to be Princess Leia and putting my hair in the buns like her. 

I have not seen Rogue One yet. We do have the DVD and eventually I will watch it on our projection screen in the basement. I have tried to get Clark interested in them but it has not really worked so far. His father and I try not to be to disappointed.

Think Write Thursday: The Remember When Edition

 Remember the time when you did not feel like a fraud? Remember the time when you felt confident? Remember the time when you did not mentally beat yourself up for the tiniest little mistakes? Remember the time when you knew that you could do anything? Remember the time when your confidence was unshakeable? Remember the time when the future seemed so bright? 

Honestly I am having difficulties remembering these times. I know though that I am not the only one who feels this way. However, no one wants to admit that we feel like a loser. We want to go to social media and post the happy pictures and updates that only show the good things. I am guilty of doing this as well. 

I am getting tired of putting on the mask. I am tired of pretending to be so happy all the time. Now I don’t want to come across like some cry baby. While I do deal with anxiety and depression I am also pretty happy most of the time. I realize how blessed I am. I am so thankful to have a loving and supportive husband and a son who is smart and healthy. But I am human and am feeling a bit in the dumps lately. It feels good to get this out and now I am going to move forward and do the best I can and be satisfied with that.

Hello There March

Hello There March,

I am very happy to see you. After January and February - my two least favorite months of the year - it is always nice when you come around. However, I could have done without the snow and major winds the you came with yesterday. But like they say you do like to come in like a Lion.

One of the reasons why I am happy to see you each year is because we get to move the clocks ahead an hour. While most people prefer falling back I always appreciate the extra daylight you bring when we spring forward.

Another thing I love about you is March Madness. It always makes me remember my mom because she loved watching all the games she could. Eve though my beloved Spartans are not doing so well this year I am looking forward to the tourney again this year.

The only thing I ask is for you to [lease be gentle with the 20-30 degree changes you also usually bring. It wreaks havoc with my sinuses and man do they ever hurt.

I look forward to our time together this year.

Sincerely,
Kristyn

A Letter to My Son

Today's topic for Think Write Thursday is to write a love letter. I have decided to write one to my little man.

Dear Clark,

I just want to let you know how proud I am of you. You have come so far in the past couple of years. There have been many tough times where I have questioned if we were doing the best we could for you. Times where I questioned if I was a good mom to you. Timed where I felt so much guilt that I was passing down my issues to you.

When you were diagnosed with ASD last year it was both liberating and frightening. It was liberating to know that there was a real issue but frightening because the word autism is so loaded. However, your dad and I decided that we would continue on with what we were doing. While we kept your condition in mind we did not use it as a crutch. We held you to high standards and you have met them in so many ways.

You have such a kind heart and sweet spirit. You are so kind and caring with me, daddy, family and friends. Your teachers, school staff and caregivers all say what a pleasure you are to have around and how you always seem to be happy. You are very silly and funny and make me laugh so much. You love to sing and dance around the house and bring us such joy.

You make me want to work hard and be a better person for you. I hope that I make you half as proud as you make me.

Love always & forever,
Mama

Think Write Thursday: The Going Wrong Edition

The topic for this week is the ways you stay positive when it feels like everything is going wrong. It seems like this is a timely topic for me. This has been quite a year, I think so many of us are feeling this way. I try to remember that the things I am going through are not really that bad in the grand scheme of things. We are healthy, have a roof over our heads and enough food to eat. But there have definitely been some stressors that have made this time of year difficult, both financially and with relationships with extended family members.

One thing I try to do is remember that I cannot control everything. I also cannot make everyone happy. I focus only on my little family. As long as the three of us are good and God knows that I am doing what I think is best I am ok if not everyone is happy with me.

I also look at my son and have gratitude that he is happy and healthy. Yes he has asthma and yes he has ASD but he has a great group of people supporting him and have come so far in the past year since his diagnosis. He is smart, kind and funny and we are so lucky to have him.

I also try to change the things I do have control over. If my health is suffering I will work out, try to eat healthier and take car of myself. Self care is very important during these times. I tend to become a hermit so I force myself to go out with my friends and do the things I enjoy like read or knit. I will also try to get enough sleep.

Basically I try to take things as easy as possible and be kind to yourself. 

Think Write Thursday: The Abandoned Building Edition

Now that Carole has changed from the weekly Ten on Tuesday to the monthly Ten on Ten she has started new weekly project. This is called Think Write Thursday. Each week she sends out a topic that we are supposed to write about. This can be fiction, non-fiction or a bit of both. I like to write and have not done so for many years so I have decided to give it a whirl.

This week we are to write about an abandoned house or building.

When I was 10 my parents moved into the house where I would grow up and where my dad still lives. Across the street from the house was the old town high school that had been abandoned for many years. The building always scared me. It seemed to be haunted. There were stories going around about the crazy homeless guy who was supposed to live in the building.

Since our house was right in town and close the middle school we always had a lot of kids walking by our on their way home from school. It seemed like at least a couple of times per week some kids would go into the building to explore. I, however, being a chicken never went in. I do not remember my parents ever telling me to stay away from the school but I am sure they must have. Plus my grandparents lived with us so there was always someone watching me.

Sometime when I was in high school the building was torn down and there were two houses built on the empty lot. Sometimes I wish that I had the guts to go inside that school and check it out.